• Whenever Obama says “jobs,” pour eight percent of your drink down the drain.
• Take a shot whenever Obama mentions the word “gun” or other Second Amendment-related terminology.
• When Obama engages in class warfare, stab the richest person in the room with your broken beer bottle (which was broken, of course, by smashing it on said gentleman’s head).
• When Obama mentions “green energy,” swirl your drink in a windmill-like fashion and pour it down the drain.
• When the president says “debt” or “deficit,” take one of your friend’s beers and promise to pay him back later.
• If Obama says “It’s the right thing to do,” scream “YEAH IT IS!” and chug your whole drink.
• If Obama says “Let me be clear,” take a shot of vodka or translucent alcohol of your choice.
• If Obama mentions technology or technology education, “mupload” a drunk “selfie” to Facebook, Twitter or Instagram.
• When the president uses the passive voice, hit your neighbor the right, and blame your neighbor on the left.
• Drink a vodka with Red Bull every time Vice President Joe Biden looks like he’s about to fall asleep.
• If Speaker of the House John Boehner’s complexion looks particularly orange, pour a screw driver.

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